Coming Out of Hiding

Were you ever told by your mother that omission is a form of lying?  I feel like I have been lying to everyone, mostly myself.  The past eight months have been crazy.  Alex and I got married.  We sold his house and moved him into my house.  Then we bought another house, move our stuff and went through a trying period of selling my home.  Like a crazy person, I decided to have a housewarming just three weeks after moving AND make it a surprise birthday party for Alex.  I guess that is the beauty of the art of distraction.  With so much to do, it's easy to forget the real issues that needed my attention.

School ended last week and with that my daughter has been relocated to her father's house for the next five weeks.  Now that the dust has settled and there is only Alex and me in the house, those parts of me that I have been ignoring are now screaming for attention.  The truth cannot be ignored any longer.

I last weighed myself at our old house and haven't bothered to find a place for the scale in our new house.  I don't really want to know what it says.  Considering that the size 16 pants that I had in my "giveaway pile" are now a godsend, even though I look like a stuffed sausage in them, is evidence enough that I won't like what the scale says.  Not getting the picture?  Last I weighed in, the scale read 214lbs.  Wedding day weight (a mere eight months ago)? 175.  For those of you not up on the math skills, that's almost forty pounds.  If you recall from my last blog post, I had gained thirty pounds.  That's right.  I gained another ten since then.

Obviously, the marathon did not happen.  With all the craziness going on, that seemed lowest on the totem pole of priorities.  I will defer to another year.  In fact, all exercise in any form seemed pretty easy to let slip.  Without the stress relief and endorphins from working out, food and alcohol became my best friend. 

So here I am.  I don't want to lie anymore and pretend that if I just don't weigh myself anymore that maybe my pants will start to fit better.  I don't want to be afraid of the scale.  I want to be proud of the decisions that I make.  I want to feel comfortable in my own skin again and feel capable of movement.  I want to be happy.

One thing that I discovered about myself long ago is that I need goals.  I need to measure my progress and know where I am going.   I don't mean just health related goals either.  Family, career, education and other goals are all fair game.  Without any further hesitation...

Goals:

• Write down my goals and make them visible
• Keep a "To Do" list - I'm constantly forgetting things!
• Cardio three times a week for at least thirty minutes
• Weights two times a week
• Do one thing a week just for ME

That last one is so important.  I have decided that Tuesday nights will be MY night.  I do something that makes me happy that night.  It could be scrapbooking, could be sewing or maybe I just go out and buy myself a bouquet I flowers.  Tonight I think I might try making an antipasto salad from Harris Teeter that I have been wanting to replicate for quite some time.....mmmm....sounds good...

What is the one thing that you love doing just for you?

My body hurts!

I hurt absolutely everywhere this morning.  I guess it's a good kind of hurt.  The kind of hurt that let's you know that your body is being worked and challenged. But it still hurts and it kind of sucks.

I recently signed up for an all women's softball league.  It's been ten years since I have played so needless to say, I'm in the process of shaking off the dust.  Alex and I spent Saturday and Sunday throwing the ball around and hitting at the batting cages.  If you are looking to tighten up your obliques, try swinging a bat. 
On top of sore arms, shoulders, and obliques, Alex came home last night and suggested I go for a run.  I have been averaging about three miles a week and with an impending marathon, I decided his suggestion was worth it.  I managed 7.16 miles and felt really good.  I didn't push myself as far as speed.  I tried to keep a nice, easy pace and it took me about 77 minutes to complete (10:45 pace).  Not too bad!  Well, at least that's what I thought until I woke up this morning...

I was very impressed with myself.  I have gained over thirty pounds since my wedding so to get out there and run like that is tough.  Especially since I haven't been training.  I literally cringe every time I think about my marathon.  I hope I still have time to make it happen.  I just need to cross the finish line. 

Goals for the week:

• Eat more fruits/veggies
• Run 4 miles on Wednesday and Thursday
• Run 12 miles on Saturday
• Finish cleaning family room

Glad to be back!

It's been a while I know.  Several reasons for that.  I have been a little timid about posting things on my previous blog because my baby daddy was stalking it and using things on my blog and facebook against me in court.  I have also been absent based on my decline in health and fitness and not wanting to be honest and share that with you. 

So here I am.  Ready to be honest and get back on the blogging wagon!  On my previous blog, I was focusing mostly on being a good mom and role model to my daughter.  In this blog, I'm going to be totally selfish and focus on myself. 

That's it for now....talk to you soon :)